Bures & District Cricket Club - Tea Ladies

Roll of Honour - A light-hearted look at the ladies who have fed us over the years.

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Ros

Ros' teas are a force to be reckoned with. Ros is capable of the most stupendous home-made cakes but these are generally released only when it is known that the opponents will field after tea. Often, the resulting lethargy in the their fielding results in a tangible advantage to the Bures team. It should be said that Ros' cakes defy empirical measurement. Various noble scientists, equipped with hydrometers and spectrophotometers have striven but failed to provide an objective analysis. But they're damned good, OK?

Kate(ie)  Mitchell

 Kate, “The Dark Lady of the Sandwiches” made her much-awaited debut as a cricket tea-lady last season. Being wife of the imaginatively named “Mitch” Mitchell who is descended from a long line of cricket tea ladies, she had no problems. Also, as director of the Colchester Arts Centre she is used to dealing with artistes of all kinds, so eleven Bures prima donnas gave her no difficulties whatsoever.

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Susie

Susie is sadly no longer with us but her sublime culinary skills were a treat! Her presence brought the bonus of a guaranteed attendance of husband Honest Bob, who ran a pop-up and doubtlessly illegal bar from the back of his van during the game. Canned, warm GK IPA......what better incentive to stay at the crease? Susie provided sarnies of a hitherto unfound sophistication in Bures; complex and assured Cordon Bleu stuff being the name of the game. Susie, we miss you!

Carol Law

Carol Law made the great mistake of going out for an evening with some of the tea ladies and being told afterwards that she had agreed to do some cricket teas. She has since forsworn strong drink and leads a life of virtuous teetotalism but, fortunately for the Cricket Club, she has been unable to escape from her original commitment. Her excellent teas, however, unhappily lack one thing. Grated cheese is Carol’s major phobia and any enquiry regarding its absence is likely to be met by one of her celebrated uppercuts!

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Carol

Carol has used her University education to good effect! She uncomplainingly feeds the cricket animals and has a high tolerance to the pavilion banter. Father Jim (as in her Dad, rather then Father Jim, if you get my drift) ghosts in and out in a haze of cigar smoke and IPA and provides a watchful  and expert eye over proceedings as well as fulfilling his childhood dream role of tea monitor.

Mr. Slow

MS aspires to the role of tea "lady", but inexplicably appears to have recovered from his malaise and so the players may have to wait.  Once plans for disabled access to the pavilion are effected, he intends to provide tea of an appropriate nature for players. His five-course feast will comprise such local delicacies as Paëlla St. Mary and Confit de Canard de Twinstead au jus de Cornard piquant, or perhaps Un Duo de Pies de Steak and Kidney, pommes de terre de Sammy, gravy de Ros.  This will be accompanied by a selection of Bières de Garde from a famous local brewery which must remain nameless but is NOT in Bury St. Edmunds, thank God!

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Sally

Sally's teas are an all too infrequently enjoyed treat. She produces fodder of a high standard and has the fastest clean-up rate of any of the tea ladies. I assume that this is so she can be sure of being finished before husband David leaves the crease on his long walk back to the pavilion, to discuss the inadequacy of the pitch and to listen to his detailing the latest and doubtlessly long list of injuries which afflict him. Oh yes, and to discuss the vastly expensive inter-continental holiday which they are planning. In the interests of David's recovery, of course.

Mrs. Slow

Mrs. Slow made her debut towards the end of the 2003 season, faced with the unacceptable prospect of her husband having to prepare tea himself in the absence of the regular tea ladies. Suffice to say that an assured performance was given, with particularly noteworthy cakes being supplied courtesy of Grandma Slow. Grandma's immense chocolate brownies and a sponge cake of a hitherto unencountered viscosity have effectively issued a challenge to the other tea ladies; a light-hearted competition which the players are looking forward to immensely!

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Vicarage Meadow, Bures, Suffolk CO8 5BX